Durham21 » d21 Archive

So, what are you going to do when you Graduate?

Amy Annette (Editor) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 18:04:00 +0000

James Dunn looks forward to turkey, trimming and potential unemployment...

Students across the country have been heading home this week through the snow, filling the trains and buses with black bin bags full of laundry. We may look to be full of Yuletide joy, but the outlook for students this Christmas, and for 2010, is as bleak as the inevitable sprouts on Christmas Day. With unemployment..

The Rule of Law… or Status?

AuthorOne — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 15:38:58 +0000

Olivia Amos looks at those who live above the law.. "Be you ever so high that the law is above you." - This famous quote from the late judge Lord Denning, a pioneer in the legal world who consistently challenged the status quo to secure ‘justice’ for all, is a well established doctrine stating how no one is immune to the laws of the land. Yet recent cases suggest that there is one group to whom that rule does not apply. That of the ‘celebrity’. As I watched...

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

AuthorOne — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:36:17 +0000

A review of the late Stieg Larsson's eccentric thriller.

A musical extravaganza closes a fantastic Festival

Rosie Boscawen — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 09:16:10 +0000

The Assembly Rooms, Saturday 28th February 2009 DULOG’s Improvised Musical The programme warned the audience that “for the first (and most probably the last) time”, six students would attempt to completely improvise a musical. Hopefully from the success of their performance they will reconsider this and attempt many more, as their production of “The Chair, the Door and the Monkey named Harry”, suggested by one audience member, was surprisingly impressive. The ensemble had obviously worked very hard preparing for their improvisation, and their work paid off – they shared the stage well, ...

Best three years of life actually really depressing

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:59:18 +0000

Thousands of students about to graduate have expressed their despair and depression over what was supposed to have been the best three years of their lives...

Cautious optimism as 3,000 graduates released into the wild

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:59:12 +0000

University authorities have expressed cautious optimism over the future of three thousand new graduates released from Durham this month. Having completed three and four year training programmes designed to prepare them for the real world, the graduates will now be expected to fend for themselves and carve out their own niche in the wild. “God bless ‘em,” cried Maths warden Matthias Jones, an atheist who once covered his grandmother’s tablecloth with wax crayon. “We’ve done all we can, and it’s down to them now. There might be one or two sticky ...

Calman “had the weirdest dream” last night

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:58:45 +0000

Home Counties postman Kenny Calman awoke from his sleep to inform his wife that he had "the weirdest dream" last night...

Estates and Buildings plan “extensive summer refurbishment programme”

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:58:21 +0000

The Durham University Estates and Buildings department has expressed its desire to "make the most" of the en masse departure of thousands of students this Friday and bring about "radical" repair work across the University...

Old Fulling Mill museum bracing itself for post-exam “chaos”

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:56:32 +0000

Durham's "number one" archaeology museum, the Old Fulling Mill, is said to be prepared for hordes of students to descend upon on it now that the exams have finished...

Aidan’s appoints Tourism Officer in attempt to be “the Hill’s Castle”

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:56:06 +0000

Cloud-scraping St Aidan's has appointed a new Tourism Officer as it attempts to boost visiting figures and rival University College as one of Durham's leading attractions...

Lecturer blames students bad exam performances on everything but his teaching

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:55:42 +0000

With his module marks projected to reach an all-time low, Philosophy lecturer Albert Gonnigal has blamed his students ineffectual attempts on a wide variety of factors except for his teaching skills...

Confident love machine mask finally dropped after three futile years

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:55:16 +0000

Chad's finalist Carl "Tiger" White is finally dropping his confident love machine persona in favour of being himself for his last four weeks in Durham...

English Literature student left with no outlet for well-researched views on Shakespeare

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:54:39 +0000

Studious bookworm and English Literature finalist Thomas Dauber has declared himself "bursting" with an in-depth knowledge of Shakespeare, yet bereft of any suitable outlet into which to channel it...

Obnoxiously loud World Cup viewer labelled a twat

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:54:08 +0000

Following his fifth bellowed rendition of Rule Britannia, Steve Fladlow, has been declared a "complete twat" by selected fellow viewers of the recent World Cup match between England and Sweden...

DSU can’t beat them, joins them

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:53:42 +0000

After years of opposing various Old Shire Hall initiatives - but making no noticeable difference whatsoever - the DSU President today announced that all further policy will fall in line with the wishes of Sir Kenneth Calman...

Last Durham pub to be turned into theme cinema

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:52:14 +0000

The Victoria Hotel is to be closed and redeveloped as a theme cinema, the Shallot has learned...

Supposedly incisive and intellectual lecturer makes really obvious revision points

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:51:51 +0000

English Literature students hoping for a final revision session packed full of useful hints and tips were left disappointed after their respected lecturer merely provided them with "inane and blatantly obvious" advice...

Approaching exam period provokes sudden interest in everything except revision

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:51:24 +0000

According to close friends, Cuth's finalist Dave Waterhouse has become obsessed with a wide range of non-revision-related activities as exam time draws nearer...

Students exam preparations omit nothing but knowledge

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:50:58 +0000

All across the University eager examinees are carefully and exhaustively preparing for their end of year assessments leaving nothing but crucial course-related knowledge to chance...

Lonely antisocial workaholic genius: “MY TIME IS NOW”

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:50:27 +0000

Lonely antisocial workaholic genius Finbar Crimpton has posted a note on his door in Grey stating simply: "MY TIME IS NOW"...

Locals to tutor students in life skills courses

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:49:45 +0000

In a move tipped to bring local and student communities together, it has been announced that school children from across the Durham area will soon be tutoring University students in essential life skills...

Palestine Awareness Group accused of illegal occupation of library land

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:49:16 +0000

The recent seizure of large tracts of library owned land by members of the Palestine Awareness Group (PAG) has sparked controversy and international condemnation...

Amazing Easter holidays remain largely undiscussed

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:48:53 +0000

The amazing Easter holidays of Aidan's fresher Paul Saunders remain largely undiscussed a full seven days into term. Despite his best efforts, all attempts to introduce the subject into conversation have met with unqualified failure...

Roommate won’t believe who neighbour pulled last night

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:48:32 +0000

Bursting through the door flushed with excitement, Castle first year Cathy Poddington has declared that her roommate will be unable to mentally comprehend who their neighbour enjoyed a brief romantic dalliance with last night...

Room optimistically tidied in anticipation of one-night stand

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:47:36 +0000

Vaguely hopeful of a night of "hot lovin' action", Grey first year, Nick Moffetty, left nothing to chance by devoting one hour of his afternoon to tidying his room...

Well-educated Hatfielder outwitted by “cunning” vending machine again

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:47:04 +0000

Well-educated Hatfielder Carlton Jones has once again been outwitted by his mechanical nemesis, the chocolate vending machine located three doors down from his room in college...

Study: 98% of student conversation “mindnumbingly useless”

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:46:11 +0000

An exhaustive two year study conducted by top Durham academics has concluded that 98% of student-to-student discourse is not only "incredibly dull" but "serves no discernible purpose"...

Students “deeply concerned” over contented, happy-go-lucky housemate

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:45:51 +0000

Three livers-out from the darkest corner of Gilesgate have voiced concerns over their apparently "completely secure and carefree" housemate...

Dissertation crisis: Student unsure which binding option to select

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:45:22 +0000

The rapidly approaching dissertation deadline has sent Politics finalist Al Breighton into a state of "complete panic" as he has realised he has just days left to select the form of binding in which his completed work will be submitted in...

Collingwood student strikes it lucky with extra hash brown

Durham21 — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:44:34 +0000

Collingwood student Bill Robinson was overcome with joy late last week when a member of his canteen staff accidentally placed six hash browns on his plate, rather than the mandatory five stipulated in canteen regulations...