What I thought this week:
Sean Barnes jots down his random thoughts and musings from the world of football this week…
Apologies for the short points, but I’ve had quite a few thoughts this week (it makes a change, trust me) and I simply had to share them with you.
-All these “Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head” and “Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas” and “X is so hard you could do Y to him and he’d just do Z” wotsits are now obsolete – X is now John Terry, Y is now kick him full force in the face so he’s unconscious and needs oxygen and Z is check himself out of hospital to join his team’s cup-winning party and then declare himself fit to play in the Premiership the following week. For God’s sake Diaby’s ankle got a worse injury than Terry’s face – cor blimey guv’nor
-Obafemi Martins will turn out to be a great signing for Newcastle, just so long as he isn’t actually 41.
-West Ham fans singing “You’re not fit to wear the shirt” – West Ham aren’t that great a team – they massively overachieved last year with great management and a bit of luck. Yes the players might not be playing well but just as they may not have a god-given right to be Premiership footballers – hence the song – West Ham do not have a god-given right to be in the Premiership – hence their league position. They actually have quite an average team.
-Superman wears John Terry pyjamas.
-I still find John O’Shea playing in goal for United the other week highly amusing.
-Wayne Bridge getting knocked flat out by Emmanuel Eboue….
Oh dear oh dear, Wayne. My first thought was that’s outrageous – you big girl. Either turn round and lamp him or at least just don’t fall like a pack of cards, a 6 year old girl, or a Robben. Stand still and give him ‘the evils’. But, I suppose, thinking about it, hitting back would’ve seen him banned for 10 matches and the FA aren’t clever enough to punish people who raise their hands if the innocent party just stands unaffected. So Wayne did the thing that will get Eboue the greatest punishment – which he deserves. Still, if I was a Premiership footballer being watched by an audience of millions, I wouldn’t find making a fool of myself that easy to do.
-Dimitar Berbatov shouldn’t be that good. I mean, just look at him.
-When John Terry falls in water, John Terry doesn’t get wet. Water gets John Terry.
-Theo Walcott’s goal was scarily reminiscent of Thierry Henry. And, considering the Arsenal midfield was Walcott, Fabregas, Denilson, Diaby, and the Chelsea midfield was Ballack, Makelele, Essien, Lampard, the Arsenal kids must be pretty good. We knew that already, obviously, but pushing a full strength Chelsea that close in a cup final is a major achievement. Bravo. It’s great for football – if only more of them were English.
-Ronaldinho may not be fat – but when you’re supposed to be one of the best athletes in the world an extra couple of pounds does make a big difference.
-John Terry’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
-Mark Lawrenson gets more annoying every week. And Match of the Day is going downhill fast. Match of the Day 2 is a much more fresh and entertaining programme, with more informative guests, better analysis, and no jovial back-slapping ‘banter’ between the increasingly-smug Lineker and the decreasingly-incisive Hansen.
-Vicky Gomersall is now, in my humble (and great) opinion, the most attractive Sky Sports News presenter.
-Steven Gerrard is probably the worst Englishman for diving I have ever seen. It’s one thing running at full speed, taking a knock and going down easily (‘The Andy Johnson Penalty’) but it’s another to go looking for a penalty while the ball is dead and then purposefully conning the referee. Shame on you, Stevie.
And, finally….
-John Terry wears Durham21 pyjamas.
Sean, I was with you until your line on Vicky Gomersall.
Have you forgotten about Di Stewart?
Sean, I was with you until your line on Vicky Gomersall.
Have you forgotten about Di Stewart?
Sean, I was with you until your line on Vicky Gomersall.
Have you forgotten about Di Stewart?
Well, Di has always been my favourite (which has led to heated debates among my highly Pro-Georgie housemates) but recently I've noticed a certain glint in Vicky's eye and a certain something behind her beautiful smile. She's definitely the new number one.
Well, Di has always been my favourite (which has led to heated debates among my highly Pro-Georgie housemates) but recently I've noticed a certain glint in Vicky's eye and a certain something behind her beautiful smile. She's definitely the new number one.
Well, Di has always been my favourite (which has led to heated debates among my highly Pro-Georgie housemates) but recently I've noticed a certain glint in Vicky's eye and a certain something behind her beautiful smile. She's definitely the new number one.
As a girl myself I have to disagree with both of you. Georgie is the sex. And she has gorgeous hair.
As a girl myself I have to disagree with both of you. Georgie is the sex. And she has gorgeous hair.
As a girl myself I have to disagree with both of you. Georgie is the sex. And she has gorgeous hair.
Georgie may have georgeous hair but she talks like a man.
It would destroy the mood
Georgie may have georgeous hair but she talks like a man.
It would destroy the mood
Georgie may have georgeous hair but she talks like a man.
It would destroy the mood
Lay off Gerrard! – I'm sure God has dived a few times when having a kick about in heaven. And Stevie Stevie Stevie Gerrard's the closest we have to God on earth!
Lay off Gerrard! – I'm sure God has dived a few times when having a kick about in heaven. And Stevie Stevie Stevie Gerrard's the closest we have to God on earth!
Lay off Gerrard! – I'm sure God has dived a few times when having a kick about in heaven. And Stevie Stevie Stevie Gerrard's the closest we have to God on earth!
Vicky Gomersall is so sexy!….she is utterly gorgeous! I dreamed about her the other night! I just told her I was in love with her!…which I might be!
Vicky Gomersall is so sexy!….she is utterly gorgeous! I dreamed about her the other night! I just told her I was in love with her!…which I might be!
Vicky Gomersall is so sexy!….she is utterly gorgeous! I dreamed about her the other night! I just told her I was in love with her!…which I might be!
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